A New Day of Remembrance

One Year Later: September 11, 2002

Sent out this email to family and friends on September 11, 2002 – one year after 9/11 reshaped our world.

As we approach the one year anniversary of September 11th and hear all the options about how we can honor, remember and respect the events and deaths of one year ago, I’ve sorta been puzzled on how I want to spend the day, in my thoughts and in my prayers, in my work and in my free time.

What does one year later mean to me? Will I write some thoughts in the remembrance log being offered by the hospital where I work? Will I attend a special ecumenical service at the Cathedral where I worship? Will I settle down and watch hours of uninterrupted media coverage on television where I live? Or will I perhaps just let the day go by, so that I don’t really have to recall the fear, trauma and shock I felt one year ago, when I, like everyone else, was stunned. 

So with the day rapidly approaching and a quick review of the week’s activities bearing down on me, I’m flying cross country on Thursday to be with my family as my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, and so in the few free minutes of preparation and the packing, alongside the reality of squeezing five business days of hospital meetings into a three day work-week, it all just seems like just another routine week. Hit the pavement and start running to Friday. And there doesn’t really seem to be a whole lot of time for remembrances, or letting myself slip back into that numbness, I felt one year ago. 

What will I do? I will fly my flag, and I’ll drape it with the same black ribbon I tied to it last September, since I can’t fly it at half staff, and I will wear my flag lapel pin. I’ll probably pause when I walk out the front door at 5:45 am (PST) to head off to the gym for my morning workout, just as I did last year, and at that moment I will recall how one year ago, by some odd twist, I went back inside to go to the bathroom, only to hear the first announcement of the crash of the Word Trade Tower’s over my clock radio, still playing in my bedroom, and from there the rest of the day changed for all of us. Was it a day, a week, a year, or a way of living that changed?

Now one year later, today, this September 11th 2002, what have I learned, What do I fear? What has changed?

What has struck me the most, one year later, is that for all those individuals who got on a plane on a busy Tuesday morning in September, or went to work in those very tall buildings, or woke up at their fire stations, for all those individuals and their loved ones, they too seemed caught up in their own hustle and bustle of their week’s routine activities. And probably didn’t put a whole lot of meaning to those easily shared parting words, the promises, or the goodbyes: “Have a good day at work,” "I'll stop by the store on the way home," “I’ll see you tonight,” or “I love you.” Common words we say all the time to those we care about. 

Words that morning though, now cherished.

For the victims, as they faced their mortality in a blazing inferno, or a misguided jet, they had the help of modern technology and a few moments with a cell phone to call a loved one and attempt to say it one more time. And for many others, many of them heroes, there was no chance. At that moment it didn’t really matter, what their job title was, or the neighborhood they lived in, or the car they drove, or the size of the investment portfolio. At that moment, what mattered was what I like to call their heartbeat, their connections, their relationships, their friends and their families.

What I realized as this Day of Remembrance arrives, and we talk about freedoms lost, and new fears found… what I want to do most of all, out of respect for so many who may not have gotten the chance one year ago, and for so many that taught us that lesson on how valuable it is to make that connection before it is too late… what I want to remember about that day, amidst the fears and the numbing pain, was the connections I had that day and how for a brief couple of days, they seemed more genuine and more intimate, than just what they were the day before. We were all vulnerable, and we were all there for each other. Fear does that to us.

So how I want to remember the day is to share with you each that although days go by and I don’t always say it, your love, your friendship, and your support is cherished. I care about you, My connection to you makes my day more meaningful, my life has been richer because somewhere along the way, our lives touched and impacted each other. I’m grateful that you are a part of my family, a work colleague or a friend. I appreciate the times we’ve shared together, the laughter and the tears. I wish weeks, months or in some cases years didn’t go by without us renewing that connection, but because of that connection, either present or past, my life is richer and more unique and I hope good things for each of you.

Maybe this just seems like another early Christmas greeting, which I am sending to you via email instead of old fashion "snail" mail thanks yet again to modern technology. But, I'm thinking otherwise, nothing is ever wrong with stopping and thinking about the connections of life that we each hold dear to our hearts. The love, the understanding, the forgiveness that we’ve offered to each other. Perhaps in pausing and reaching out in our own little way, we are honoring the events of one year ago perhaps a bit differently than the media wants us to, or the politicos jockeying for power, or history dictates respectful. For just possibly, when you think about these connections, friendships or relationships, you'll begin to think about new ones that have formed this past year and then you begin to see how it is possible to bridge the gap of misconceptions, mistrust and hatred that hide behind our fears. We are lucky that freedom allows us to love and make those ever important connections and we realize a bit more about what we want to defend.

We’ve got new images of heroes. We’ve got painful memories of victims and families in grief. We’ve got new cityscapes to adjust to. And we’ve got new world dynamics to understand. But in the end, I can’t imagine any single one of those 2,700+ individuals who lost their lives one year ago today not wishing that somehow, somewhere, there was just one more person that they knew and wished that they’d been able to have said in those final moments:

You made my life a bit more special

Thanks

Take good care of yourself

I love you

Peace

On this new Day of Remembrance, this is how I choose to honor each of the victims, the heroes, the events of last year and each of you.

a friend – John